by J. J. Steinfeld
They connected online
a bells-and-whistles dating service
billed as ardour everlasting
and companionship eternal
she the world’s largest
supermodel
he the world’s smallest
bodybuilder
photographs exchanged
touched up, enhanced
even in their superlative incarnations
that is, largest and smallest.
Of the numerous headshots
an expert on faces
might say he was prettier
than she
but those things, as we know,
are painfully subjective.
They agreed to meet
in a downtown park
at 6:30 pm
she had an arduous
modelling assignment to complete
he spent his afternoons in the gym
needed to shower, prepare
for their first meeting
in the flesh, he awkwardly
texted her
too late to take back.
A light rain, slight breeze,
love at first sight, he thought,
she turned and ran
faster than a wild animal
chased by an even wilder animal.
If he were only taller, he thought,
and hurried home
a dozen more possibilities
to view online before
the evening was done,
ardour everlasting
and companionship eternal.
originally published in Absurdity, Woe Is Me, Glory Be (Guernica Editions, 2017)
Canadian poet/fiction writer/playwright J. J. Steinfeld lives on Prince Edward Island, where he is patiently waiting for Godot’s arrival and a phone call from Kafka. While waiting, he has published 25 books, including An Unauthorized Biography of Being (Stories/Ekstasis Editions/2016), Absurdity, Woe Is Me, Glory Be (Poetry/Guernica Editions/2017), A Visit to the Kafka Café (Poetry/Ekstasis Editions/2018), Gregor Samsa Was Never in The Beatles (Stories/Ekstasis Editions/2019), Morning Bafflement and Timeless Puzzlement (Poetry/Ekstasis Editions/2020), Somewhat Absurd, Somehow Existential (Poetry/Guernica Editions/ 2021), Acting on the Island (Stories/Pottersfield Press/2022), As You Continue to Wait (Poetry/Ekstasis Editions/2022), and My Post-Holocaust Second Generation Voice: History/Memory/Identity (Poetry/Ekstasis Editions/2025).